The Friction, Differences and Karma Meters: remember how perfect things seemed back in the beginning?
Or maybe you can't even recall those glorious early days, when the future looked rosy and the possibilities for your relationship seemed limitless.
What was it that broke the two of you up, anyway?
The answer to that question is complex and multilayered, to be sure.
Had you known what your relationship trouble spots were, then you could have been better prepared to take one of three routes; avoid them as best as you could, worked through them as a team, or decided it just wasn’t worth the trouble and move on.
Your Friction, Differences and Karma meters give you a quick, at-a-glance view of the strife in your previous relationship -- all the sources of irritation, stress and hostility that ultimately led to that final goodbye.
This information can help you come to terms with your breakup, but also make you aware of pitfalls you may encounter in the future.
7-10: Ouch -- you might still be bitter
4-6: You both knew which buttons to push
0-3: The Problem? A lack of passion.
7-10: You never got each other from day one.
4-6: Your differences were eye-opening... until they got annoying!
0-3: You could still be friends
7-10: It was doomed from the start.
4-6: Unconsciously, you both acted out old issues.
0-3: At least you made new mistakes instead of repeating old ones.
Your relationship looked so good on paper! You both had a relaxed, sensual way about you, a zest for life, an appealing joie de vivre. But on the other hand, your values were dissonant, as were your tastes. One of you went for the quiet and elegant, the other for the raucous and brash, a difference that was particularly acute around the expression of public affection -- which one of you was all over the other in public? It felt like you couldn't relax together; all the while little bursts of friction keep bubbling up and disturbing the peace. You viewed your lover as impossibly vain -- and surprise, that was the exact same complaint you heard back! And it was a small thing, but you really couldn't abide the way it took your sweetie hours and hours to get ready to go to just about any social event. But all did not have to be lost. These problems were really fairly unimportant in the grand scheme of things. You two liked each other, right? So you could have stopped rubbing each other the wrong way. You needed to make like a second grader and cooperate. Share more. Not do the stuff that drove your lover mad. There was a lot there to love, and love makes the world go 'round.
At its worst, your relationship was the emotional equivalent of junk food: good for some jollies, but with very little real meat to it. It is possible that one of you was in the relationship primarily because of your physical connection, while the other wanted more of an emotional bond. If this describes your pairing, caution was needed, because such a mismatch of desires may have been what led to disaster. Jealousy was another area of trouble for the two of you, with both of you insecure that the other had a wandering eye. You may have found yourself behaving in uncharacteristic ways: checking up on your partner, asking too many questions. In a weird way, the sexual heat of your relationship masked a rather cold center, and it may have left you feeling emotionally malnourished. Nonetheless, you were well-placed for growth if both of you had been willing to work on the relationship. You need to learn to shore up your confidence and learn to trust. Rather than demanding, try to calm down and wait for what you want. You like action, but in relationships, calm is needed instead. Strive to be kind to future lovers,and your love will grown in fertile soil.
There was a crucial imbalance in your relationship, and it tore your partnership to shreds. Sorry to break the news to you, but most of the problems could be laid at your door. You held out on your lover, emotionally and physically. It wasn't that you were repelled by your mate -- you chose yourself this sensual social butterfly, after all. That physical attraction and emotional bond was what got you into this relationship. But something went awry. You grew colder. You saw your sweetie as begging for crumbs of affection, which you selfishly withheld. What made you so haughty and dismissive?If you were truly dissatisfied with your pairing, it's good that you tallied up your bills and moved on. But had there still been a spark, you should have investigated why you turned so chilly. Was it fear -- of being vulnerable, of letting someone know you completely -- that held you back? Was it connected to past experiences in which you got the short end of the stick? A little navel-gazing was in order; once you healed your own old wounds you'd have had more to give to your yearning significant other. It's never too later for self examination, and doing it now will improve your relationships later.
On paper you and your lover didn't work at all. You were directed, goal-oriented, a little impetuous, a lot dramatic. Your lover, on the other hand, was solid and, to your mindset, a little stodgy. You came up with grandiose dreams, your sweetie stomped on them by pointing out all the flaws. You expressed dreams and your lover let in all that bothersome reality. Sometimes it felt like you were a big balloon all inflated with hope, and your mate was a big ol' pin just waiting to puncture you. No wonder you experienced some friction over the course of your relationship; fights little and big. But look more deeply at the problems you had. Was your mate trying to bring you down, or give you a hand by helping ensure you turn big ideas into actual plans? You got so wound up with what you viewed as criticisms that you stopped listening to the sense behind what your lover said. Were you playing the part of a rebellious adolescent, agitating against Mummy and Daddy? You needed to act your age and try listening like an adult instead. Your lover had much to teach you if you had only been willing to let go and learn.
Hey, jealous lover! It couldn't be helped that you chose such an intense and difficult mate, but did you have to reveal your insecurities so nakedly? You should have had a little pride -- no one likes to be begged. Particularly not your button-pushing significant other, who enjoyed your predicament just a little too much. You were over a barrel, wondering where your lover was every second you were not together. Did you search for clues? Emails, phone calls, notes in pants pockets? Shame on you. You let your emotions get the better of you, and it was not a pretty picture. The problem lay in the lover you picked. Your partner was sexy and compelling, magnetic and irresistible. But there were a lot of negatives along for the ride as well. You would never have been able able to harness this sweetie. You would never have been the one in complete power. Therefore you needed to muster up your inner confidence, and vow to neither control nor be controlled. You had to be your own person instead. Make your own choices. Follow your own path. If your lover didn't come around once you made it clear that you were no worm to be trod upon, you are better off without them. You deserve respect.
What secrets lay behind your lover's dreamy, far-off gaze? You had no idea, really, and the mystery drove you mad. It seemed so romantic to be attached to such a compelling, enigmatic sweetie. Someday, you hoped, you'd find out all the secrets. But until then, you filled the information void with your fantasies. And therein lay your problem. You were not involved in something solid and real at all; instead you were locked in on a shifting miasma. It was darned sexy, and lots of fun. But it was like mist, or fog; when you tried to hold on to your lover things slipped through your hand and refused to be captured. Could you ever have gained a more solid footing on this relationship? It's doubtful. You never did, and what you had started to drift away. You couldn't get a fix on what your lover was feeling or where you were going -- but to be honest, at that point you were too busy enjoying the fantasy to try to inject some reality into the setup. You needed to start examining what you were doing with a more critical eye. Remember, the fantasy is often better than the reality.
At times you felt like a lab rat. Was it your imagination, or did your partner kinda enjoy pushing your buttons? Your limits were tested, your reactions gravely noted. And when you finally fell into a towering rage, your lover turned off, cutting off the interaction as swiftly as a knife blow. It all left you feeling confused and tender. But you couldn't try seeking soft comfort in the arms of your lover, who despised you for what was viewed as weakness. If it's any comfort, the problems you saw in your coupling weren't your imagination. Your lover really did have a rather cruel and secretive side, controlling and withholding. If you really wanted to make this work, the thing you had to accept was that there was a huge part of you that dug the semi-abuse. A part of you liked the challenge of trying to tame your powerful lover. You liked having a partner who wouldn't let you walk all over them. And the very fact that affection was doled out in such small doses made it so heady that you were addicted. The key was not to fight it, but submit. Go along, get along. If this wasn't what you wanted, you were smart to get out when you did. And chalk it all up to a major learning experience.
Pity your poor lover, because you could be awfully hard to live with. You were constantly annoyed with your sweetie, viewing your lover's dreamy, drifting nature as lazy and unmotivated. You demanded changes, effective yesterday. But what you asked for was both unreasonable and unkind. You simply didn't chose a lover who would have been able to keep up with you intellectually and physically. Your lover wasn't the mover and shaker type. Instead, you chose yourself a sweet, well-meaning, lovable person who just happened to be a little spacey and emotional. The shame was that you chose with your eyes open, and then you demanded things be different.Papering over the problems you created would have been a lot easier if you had accepted reality and stopped wishing for something else. Your lover would always be a little out-there -- and that was part of the charm of your pairing, because it gave you permission to slow down a little. So why didn't you? You needed to just relax and allow yourself an idyll. Your lover had much to teach you if you could have stopped blustering and demanding what you thought you wanted. They key was to embrace the calm, the dreaminess. Just let go; there was a sweet release awaiting you.
Ultimately, you may have wanted more from this relationship than your lover did. You were so very attracted, it's true; your lover possessed an original point of view, and a stylish way of doing things that impressed you. You were charmed, dazzled, turned on your head. So you ignored all the warning signs you should have been heeding. Ask yourself some difficult questions. When the subject of permanence came up, did your sweetie offer up plans of growing old with you in some rocker somewhere? Or did a strange silence suddenly fall between you? It would have been better to have such conversations sooner rather than later, you know, when you were laying your heart on the line. If this thing was going to work, you would have had to scale back your expectations, and rustled up a little of that confidence that's always been yours to command. You didn't expect your lover to be the cuddle-by-the-fire type, did you? Instead, you should have reveled in a connection that was less constant, but more passionate. After all, who needed to snooze on a sofa when you could have had long, hot sleepless nights instead?
Misunderstandings cropped up frequently between you and your lover, didn't they? It seemed as if you always ended up bewildered, apologizing for something when you didn't always know what you did. Meanwhile, your lover pouted and sulked, wrapped in suspicion. Much of the problem lay in the fact that you didn't communicate well. You were distanced from your emotions, wishing to bury yourself in work and your goals instead. And your lover imagined the worst of you, made up scenarios and then treated you as if you'd erred somehow, or as if you'd made promises that you didn't keep.If you had wanted this relationship to survive, the two of you were simply going to have to learn to see eye to eye, and you weren't going to be able to do it by ignoring your problems. You had to gather your courage and start talking. Reveal your feelings. It would have been uncomfortable for you, but you needed to begin, since your partner tended to invent information to fill the gaps you left. Though you didn't know it, your partner's feelings and desires were much the same as yours and a comfortable familiarity would have filled your lives if you'd broken through your block. Warmth would have been a lot more fun than ice.
On paper, you and your love had so much in common -- why couldn't you seem to make it work? Both of you were big-hearted and loving, willing to give as well as to take. You had a mutual interest in high living; a love of the best in food and furnishings and fashion. Your friends got along, and even your family members pulled you aside to compliment you on your significant other. So why couldn't you find a comfortable place? Conversation didn't flow easily between you. There was awkwardness. Neither one of you was sure of the other and you couldn't let go or trust.The answer was in your ability to remain flexible. Yes, there was a certain way you wanted things to go, but because you were not able to bend, your love relationship shattered. You could have asked your lover for a wish-list and shared your own; allowed your whole soul to be viewed and not held back. If there were things you wanted from your lover you had to ask for them, and be willing to give what was asked in return. These conversations are never easy, but you needed to break through the obstacles between you if you two were to progress.
Mismatched beliefs lay at the core of your first troubles, and things only got worse from there. It is likely that you spent the quite a bit of time on some type of quest -- travel? Something spiritual? Advanced education? Your experiences changed you, broadened your perspectives. And suddenly your lover didn't seem to measure up. You felt like you could do better. And that secret thought seemed to add a negative energy to your pairing, playing a part in misunderstandings. Your lover, made nervous by these unconscious shifts, was apt to make big, startling decisions and say just the wrong thing to set you off. You needed to realize that though you made big changes, your lover was still the same person you met and adored. You should have left room in your personal growth curve for your sweetie. You couldn't expect your mate to keep up with the new you without coaching. Instead, you could have channeled your natural generosity and slowly, gently, ushered your mate into loving -- and living with -- the new you. One problem was that you didn't invite your lover into your life. The adjustment period would have yielded great rewards; if you'd only given it a try.
There's glue, and then there's glue. Elmer's versus epoxy, Velcro versus nails. Your relationship was bound by the easy-to-separate type of togetherness, not the wild-horses-couldn't-drag-us-apart variety. Now, don't misunderstand: This is not to say that there was not a strong connection between you. But you were able to take the occasional separate vacation; to enjoy your own interests without your partner feeling threatened; to be two distinct individuals who chose to hang out together. Compare this to the joined-at-the-hip, can't-bear-to-be-apart couple. Didn't you always wonder about them? What did they think would happen if they weren't together for an entire evening, much less a day or even a week?Separation was not a problem for you two; in fact, you may have done it by choice on a regular basis. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and this was surely true of you and your partner. You took great joy in sharing your individual experiences, as well as in spending time together. If anything, you might have had to make it a point to schedule in time to be together! You may each have been involved in your own orbits that you suddenly realized that days or even weeks had gone by without you two sharing a full day together.You shouldn't have let that happen. You needed to discover the challenges of your relationship, which so often can turn out to be opportunities for growth and development. You two had chosen to be together, and likewise, you could have chosen to grow together.
I hope you have enjoyed the valuable insight, wisdom and guidance of this astrology report. You might be a little curious about astrology and perhaps wondering how an astrologer can know so much about you!
Astrology is a mathematical system. It's all about applying meaning to numbers, or more specifically, finding meaning in the movements of the planets around the Sun, as viewed from our perspective here on earth. These planetary movements are easily captured and recorded with measurements, calculations, angles and so on.
That's why astrology works so well with computers, whose programs are also based on numbers and formulas. In 'the old days' -- thousands of years ago, when astrology was first recorded -- those early astrologers had to painstakingly observe the heavens and catalog their observations for the next generation of astrologers to build upon. Thank goodness for the computer age! Now we can simply use computers to make those calculations quickly and pull just the applicable pieces of information. Now, astrology is instant, based upon thousands of years of observations obtained through careful methodology.
Interpretations of planetary positions are based in part on ancient Greek and Roman mythology, but your astrological report is unique, describing you and you only. Even in the case of twin siblings, their birth charts differ from each other's in at least a few ways. And besides, no one amounts to just a simple interpretation of their birth chart; everyone's personality is complex. Your astrological report leaves plenty of room for variations based on your free will, personal growth and transformation over a lifetime.
Just like you, your astrological report is unique. It’s generated online in seconds and provides you with instant insight at your fingertips. Whether you have a pressing question about your future or you just want some guidance and direction, now you can have it all -- in a fast, focused, all-about-you format.
You can choose from several different types to find the report that's right for you and your needs. Your natal report is all about you -- your unique characteristics, strengths, weaknesses, potential and so on. Compatibility reports analyze the connections between two different people, to see how well and in what ways they get along. And a forecast is based on where the planets are today and how they're affecting you, uniquely. Be sure to try a free sample of another report to find out more about you!
I’m so glad to be a part of your journey to self-discovery and alignment with your planetary destiny. Please let me know if you have any questions about this product or your next steps.
P.S. Are you hooked and excited to learn more? Follow the links below for (free!) real-time astrology updates, daily horoscopes, personalized information, and more- all from Kelli Fox!